In You Ruined It Anastasia Higginbotham acclaimed author of Not My Idea A Book About Whiteness sheds light on the confusion and pain that many children feel in the aftermath of incest and sexual assault. When 11yearold Dawn discloses that a favorite cousin sexually assaulted her its hard to tell what hurts more the betrayal or the fallout. After all everyone always says to tell someone but does this mean shell never get to hang out with him again What if he goes to jail And the biggest questi